When Don and I were twenty-one years old, we decided to marry. I had just received my teaching degree, and he was working for Malcolm Hinshaw, a local builder/contractor. We didn’t have any money saved - I suppose we thought we were going to live on love. I mean wasn’t that what we were told in every movie in the ‘70s?
What’s really funny is that we never STOPPED living on love because he didn’t work as much in the winter, and I didn’t work as much in the summer. But we didn’t do easy. We worked hard, kept to ourselves, and raised a family.
When Don passed away this past November, I realized that we had been living on love and a whole lot more. Our lives were intertwined with hopes, dreams, fear, anticipation, and hard work. We had moved into a house that he had wired, plumbed, and partially dry walled. We were on a two-year plan, and we were right on track when life took a detour.
Today is Friday, December 23, 2016. While the world prepares for the coming of the Christ Child, I am also preparing for a Christmas Day without the love of my life. I do have a constant thought that keeps me from knocking over the Christmas tree and poking holes in beautifully wrapped packages. I know for a fact that God loves me.
How do I know? He has shown me in every wonderful person he put next to Don and me during Don’s battle with cancer. God was in every kind word and gesture that came from the nurses and doctors at St. Mary’s and HIMG. God was in the room when Don and I held each other and cried. God was in every card, message, text, and email that we received from family and friends. He was also the one who convinced my Koinonia Sunday School Class that food was not what we needed. So what did they do? They sent money to be used to pay co-payments and hospital bills. I could also feel God’s hand in the way church family and high school friends would show up in the hospital, at HIMG, at the pharmacy, or in the corner where I had gone to have a meltdown. God was also in the room when we faced the fact that I would be going on alone.
But I’m not alone. God loves me. God loves you. God loves Don, and for that reason, I know that He didn’t take Don’s soul, but was smiling as he received his soul and welcomed him into His Kingdom.
There is a beautiful hymn in the United Methodist Hymnal called “When Love Is Found” (p.643). It says what I’m not able to express. I love that the lyrics were written by Brian Wren in 1978. That was about the time we were thinking about starting a family. I’m pretty sure God was around then, too.
“When Love is Found” ( Sung to the tune of “The River is Wide”)
When love is found and hope comes home,
sing and be glad that two are one.
When love explodes and fills the sky,
praise God and share our Maker’s joy.
When love has flowered in trust and care,
build both each day, that love may dare
to reach beyond home’s warmth and light,
to serve and strive for truth and right.
Praise God for love, praise God for life,
in age or youth, in husband, wife.
Lift up your hearts, let love be fed
through death and life in broken bread.
Amen
Becky Warren
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